What Matters to Me

In recent months I’ve taken up grad school and stepped away from the blog. My life is still interesting, I swear, but I just haven’t had much time to reflect. I got in my first real car accident on Saturday, and it made me slow down for a second and just relax for a moment. I went back and read through some of my posts over the last year and was impressed with the online journal of my life that I had created. This reflection has once again motivated me to continue my efforts in maintaining this blog.

So what is there to talk about? My life does revolve around a weekly cycle of routines. Monday through Wednesday I focus on grad school. I’m supposed to be committing about 20 hours a week to this endeavor, and it’s limited to these three days. In the past this time was used volunteering with Community Hope and attending some sort of church group. I hate having to spend all this time on school, but what are you going to do? Friday is either high school football night, or watch a movie and go to bed at 9 o’clock night; “date night” as Stephanie knows it. Saturday is my Sabbath and is dedicated to watching Michigan football with my old roommate from college. This typically involves the nervous consumption of beer, as our team has become very exhilarating to watch. Sunday’s typically involve a walk to Morning Times where I call my various family members along the way, followed by a few hours surfing the web when I should be studying, and then a trip to the grocery store to buy food for the week. And there’s my week. Oh, except for Thursday…raise your hand if you noticed that I left out Thursday.

A night that used to be dedicated to NBC’s spectacular comedy lineup is now known to me as dinner night. Stephanie and I decided a while back that Monday’s in Moore Square handing out sandwiches and hanging out, just didn’t have a place in our busy lives. We wanted to focus on maintaining the relationships of the friends we already had, rather than shooting the shit with whoever happened to be in the park. After I got back from my summer hiatus, some of the guys down at the homeless shelter wanted to catch up, so Stephanie and I hosted them for dinner at my place. We had such a good time that Stephanie suggested that this become our new weekly ritual….and it did.

So every Thursday around 6:30, either Stephanie or I drive down to the South Wilmington homeless shelter and sign out Michael, Clint, and T. I write down “Visio Dei Church Community” as my organization for whatever that’s worth. Whoever is not picking up the boys is usually preparing a wild dinner. When I say wild, I mean wild…at least by my standards. It started with Stephanie preparing some pretty incredible meals, and then I felt the need to participate. It’s turned into an exciting experimental experience every Thursday as we’ve created some of the most fantastic and fun meals I've ever eaten. We’ve done “Whities” (a sloppy Joe version of a White Castle), make your own Calzone, Fondue night, inside-out burgers, Boston Coolers (a Michigan favorite), roasted smoares, and these are just the meals I’ve played a hand in helping with (Stephanie has done some much better cooking than I). My roommate Joanna usually eats with us and is in charge of experimenting with another wild creation this week. Stephanie’s brother is the only other regular, but some of my other friends like @thesamed and @billkcummings make guest appearances.

The meals have been fabulous, but the highlight of Thursday night is the post dinner Corn Hole competition. Usually around the time the rest of my friends are watching The Office, I am dominating the Corn Hole sidewalk in front of my house with my partner, T. There have been some epic battles the last few weeks that I won’t bore you with, but I will let you know that it has been legendary…and T and I always win.

In the details here, I’ve forgotten to mention my friend Ricky. We do not need to pick him up at the shelter as he has just recently moved off of the streets and into a rental house. Last week he called me to let me know that he couldn’t come to dinner as he was in the middle of painting the inside of his house. I said, “That’s a shame man, we’re having inside out burgers this week.”

“What’s that?” he asked.

“It’s a hamburger with cheese and bacon on the inside, topped with cheese…and bacon-“

“-when can you pick me up?”

At the end of the night, I drive the boys back to the homeless shelter. They typically complain about having to stay there and how they spend all week looking forward to Thursday. I never tell them this, but the truth is, so do I.

Art

A few weeks ago, Stephanie, her brother Michael, and I were down at Moore Square on a beautiful Monday afternoon. Right as we were about to leave, we ran into one of our friends, Roddrick. Roddrick is perhaps the happiest homeless man in all of Raleigh. He loves Stephanie's dog, always has a giant smile on his face and always has a hilarious story to tell. On this afternoon he was telling us how he had spent the day at the park just enjoying how beautiful it all was. He was so very excited about the whole thing.

"What did you do at the park all day, Roddrick?" We asked.

"It was so beautiful. I sat down and drew a picture."

"Oh really. What did you draw a picture of?"

"A gopher! I love gophers. Like in Caddy Shack." He started wiggling around like the dancing gopher in the movie.

"What'd you do with the picture?"

"Wait, I still have it." He started digging through his bag and low and behold:

What in the world? We all cracked up at the site of his drawing and Roddrick even posed like the gopher in the picture. He signed it and gave it to Stephanie as a gift and it now sits on my refrigerator. Quality.

Benefits of Serving the Poor

For a while now I've been hanging down in Moore Square on a regular basis, making friends with homeless guys and maintaining these friendships. When people ask me why I do it, I tell them that it's really me who is being blessed and served through my actions. People assume this means that I learn invaluable lessons, I experience love through friendships, and that I receive the Holy Spirit through my service. -Maybe. But yesterday it meant that I got to go to a Carolina Hurricanes playoff hockey game.

I was teaching my last period of the day, and my phone started blowing up. Call, message. 10 minutes later, call, message. After school I had a club meeting, and finally around 3:30 I answered one of these phone calls. It was one of my homeless friends, Reggie. A few weeks ago he got a job and on this day his work had a group of tickets for people to claim. Not really asking he said, "Chris, man, I got 4 tickets to tonight's hockey game. I'm at the Y. Come get me so I can give you the tickets." I was a little reluctant at first, but eventually I agreed to come pick him up and get the tickets. Since I was in a hurry to get to they end of the year banquet for Community Hope, the reading/mentoring program I am involved with, Reggie just handed me the tickets and went on his way. I inspected the tickets for a few minutes, trying to get over the fact that a homeless guy just handed me 4 free tickets to a playoff hockey game, and then I called some friends.

I wound up taking Stephanie (my gf), De'Andre (the boy I mentor), and his younger brother Mike. The kids had a great time and I wish I had brought a camera to take their pictures. It was a very "this is what white people do" kind of evening as De'Andre and Mike were blown away by all that is Carolina hockey. The game itself was one of the best I had ever seen. The Canes went up 3-0 in a game they absolutely had to win. The Devils tied the game 3-3 midway through the 3rd. As the clock ran, I came to the forgone conclusion that if the game went into overtime, I would have to bite my lip and take these two young children home. I leaned over to Stephanie and said, "Somebody just has to score." I wasn't about to keep a first grader out past 11.

Well, right when it looked like regulation was over, a moment of divine nature occurred. With about 5 seconds on the clock, the Devils failed to clear the puck from their zone and it bounced out to the blue line. One of the Canes players got control of the puck as everyone in the stadium was yelling, "Shoot it!!!!!!" Instead, he passed the puck along the blue line as the stadium gasped in frustration that he had passed on what appeared to be their last chance for a shot in regulation. Just then, Seidenberg sent a one timer that redirected off of Jokinen and into the back of the net right as the clock read 0:00! The ref pointed to the net indicating goal, the horn sounded, right on cue mind you, and the stadium absolutely erupted. I turned to Stephanie and shouted, "I've never seen that before!" It was a buzzer beater for the win in a hockey game. No Rick Flair this time on the jumbo tron, just pure playoff electricity. They reviewed the goal as everyone continued to cheer, before one more incredible eruption when the ref finally turned around and pointed down to indicate that the goal stood. The game was over and it was immediately deemed an Instant Classic. It was crazy! They announced Jokinen as the night's number 1 star but mistakenly sent out Seidenberg from the dressing room back onto the ice for the misguided, yet emotional curtain call.

It was an incredible game and an incredible experience. But I like to just chalk it up as the fruits of serving the poor. Thanks Reggie!

In the Independent

So it looks like News From Our Shoes is ready for prime time. At least they've gotten themselves a featured article in The Independent Weekly. "Hyperbole perhaps," as Bob Geary would put it, that two men living in a homeless shelter could appear to be successful, but these guys continue to amaze me. Ricky and Michael have beaten many of the problems homeless people face because they have found something to pursue. To go out on a bender would ruin it all for them, and it doesn't even tempt them because they are both striving for something more.

Congratulations Ricky and Michael!

Ricky at Pullen

This past Sunday, Ricky was asked to speak at Pullen Baptist Church. Turns out he is a phenomenal public speaker. I still prefer the Ricky who hangs out on the street corner smoking Newports, but church Ricky looked quite comfortable up there on the pulpit. He had the congregation fully engaged and tearing up. Could there be a future in public speaking for this homeless man? We'll have to wait and see. Here is the 5 minute video and two local news sources that wrote about the speech:

News From Our Shoes

The Independent Weekly

My Drinking Buddies

The other night, Stephanie and I did our usually Monday routine of going to Moore Square Park, handing out sandwiches and talking to people who hang out there. Most of these people are homeless. We do this every week and the people down there know us. They greet us as we walk up to them, we hang out and talk for about an hour, and at some point we hand out about a dozen sandwiches. Stephanie and I used to each eat a sandwich ourselves, but somewhere along the line the demand for the sandwiches eventually greatly outnumbered how many we would bring (We make really good sandwiches).

This past Monday night was interesting. As soon as we got there, Stephanie separated from the group to play in the leaves with a young girl. I was left standing in a circle with about 10 guys. One guy had a case of Ice House and started passing them out to everyone. Within a few seconds I was the only one in the circle without a beer. The man with the case noticed this and said, "Wait. Chris, I forgot about you. Did you want one?"


In just a fraction of a second lots of thoughts raced through my head:

Is it even legal to drink out here?
It has been a rough day at work. I could use a drink.
If I was with any of my other friends, what would I be doing right now?
I've had beer and wine with homeless guys before.
Am I pretending to be somebody I'm not when I'm down here?
I've tasted fresh moonshine in Uganda.
Why not?

And that's exactly what I said. "Why not?" The guys got a good chuckle out of this, and I felt this strange sense of community with the group as I drank my beer. There were all kinds of comments thrown out in the circle:

"I wasn't going to smoke in front of these two out of respect for them. I thought they were from a church or something."
"No, this guy is always drinking down at the Raleigh Times."
"Yeah, I've seen him there with my brother."
"Chris, man, now you know you're going to have to chip in next time we collect."

I began to realize that apparently there are eyes on the street, as well as embellishments. After that, things got a little weird. Someone pulled out a joint and some of them started passing that around. I also noticed money exchanging hands for something small that I suspect were drugs. These things never happened before, but somehow my status had instantly changed. They weren't ashamed to do anything around me. But oddly enough, they would still apologize to us after cussing, even while accidentally blowing smoke in my face while doing so. By the time we left, Stephanie and I smelled like we had just come from a Willie Nelson concert.

It's been a few days since this experience and I still can't decide how I feel about it. I have my own thoughts ranging from, "I'm an idiot," all the way to, "I should bring a case of beer to pass out next week," but I'm curious what others think. So if you've read this far, please make a stance on this issue and post a comment.

News From Our Shoes

As time goes on, I am realizing that more and more of my friends are homeless. Not that my friends are losing their homes, but I am spending a lot of time chumming around with guys who live out on the streets. It sometimes makes me cringe when people call these friendships part of my ministry. These guys have become my friends and they are part of the life I am enjoying very much.

There are some remarkable people who stay down at the shelter. I wish more people would get to know some of them, as there is so much to learn from some of these guys. I'm really enjoying how Ricky's story is coming along. If you haven't been following it you should. I suggest reading the oldest post first and going through it backwards.

Ricky

Another interesting website done by a homeless man is News From Our Shoes. Michael Watkins is a fascinating guy who is attempting to bring news relevant to the homeless to Raleigh. Michael has a vision of creating an entire news broadcast around this concept. Can you believe that? There's a man living down at the shelter with a website that gets about 1,000 hits a day, who wants to produce a television news broadcast. It sounds unbelievable, but he is closer to achieving this goal than you'd think.

I took some pictures to help these guys out. They are looking for close to $1000 in sponsorships in order to take some broadcasting courses. I could use a better camera, but I still think these are pretty good.

Michael

There is a meeting about Raleigh's 10 year plan to end homelessness on Thursday (12/11). It's at 9 AM down at the shelter. I'm debating whether or not I should take off work to go. There's a poll on the right margin of this page. Please chime in.

A Thanksgiving Worth Remembering

"When you give a luncheon or a dinner, do not invite your friends or your brothers or your relatives or rich neighbors, lest they also invite you in return, and repayment come to you. But when you give a reception, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed, since they do not have the means to repay you; for you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous."
-Luke 14:12-14

Yet another passage from the bible that speaks for itself and yet is rarely followed. In our American society it actually seems foreign for a Christian to do something like this. And yet straight from the words of Jesus, it's right there in black and white (or in some cases, red).

This year my friend Steph decided to actually invite a few homeless people to her Thanksgiving dinner. Steph's motivation probably had less to do with following the passage in Luke, and more to do with the simple fact that she has formed some close friendships within Raleigh's homeless circle. It just made sense to invite a few of them over. Sure enough, everyone had a great time and one of the guys even commented that it was the best Thanksgiving he ever had. None of this was a shock, but it was the reaction from Steph's parents that surprised me.

Not at all knowing that homeless people were invited to dinner, or that their daughter even had homeless friends, we were a little concerned how Steph's parents were going to react to the arrival of Ricky and Michael at the house. But for whatever reason they just immediately connected with these two, her mother with Michael and her stepfather with Ricky. If you knew these four people, you would have hardly expected this. But there was no interrupting them as they talked back and forth throughout the afternoon. After Ricky and Michael went back to the shelter, Steph's parents commented that talking to them was such a treat and the highlight of their Thanksgiving.

The lesson for me was that relationships with the less fortunate are anything but one sided. Steph's parents came to Raleigh looking for a memorable holiday celebration with their two children. What they went home with was an unforgettable experience sharing stories with two men they had never met before. No need to wait around for the resurrection of the righteous, their repayment was immediate. I might go as far as to say that this strange social experiment was more impacting on Steph's parents than it was on Ricky and Michael, but isn't it always that way when we serve the poor.

I talked to Ricky today and he told me that Steph's mom had been sending Michael emails. I think I may have witnessed the beginning of a long friendship, not to mention a Thanksgiving worth remembering.

Lady's and Gentlemen, Ricky Caldwell

I'd like to introduce you all to my good friend, Ricky Caldwell. I met Ricky down at Moore Square Park back in August. We have been great friends ever since. Ricky has a lot of noticeable differences from myself, but the most noteworthy would have to be the fact that Ricky is homeless.



Over the last few months Ricky has shared with me so many interesting stories about his life on the streets. So very often I would hear him say, "Man, Chris, you wouldn't even believe the stuff I've seen. But I tell ya, I'm going to write a book about it some day." Every time I would hear Ricky say that, the little voice in my head would say, "Yeah, right. This high school drop out is never going to actually sit down and write anything." Well, instead of being cynical, like usual, I decided to actually do something. I proudly give you rickycaldwell.blogspot.com

Ricky has worse computer skills than my Ugandan friends, so he is going to write down his thoughts on paper, and we will get together every week and try to post a blog. This is a very interesting project that I am extremely excited about being a part of. I hope it sparks some interest and maybe, some day, Ricky will fulfill his dream of writing a book.

The Gathering

So, for about a month now we've been experimenting with a nameless church group, for the moment we will call, The Gathering. The goal of the gathering is to promote a Christian support group amongst the homeless and formerly homeless people of Raleigh. This is a picture from our first ever meeting, just a few weeks ago. I am very excited to be a part of this movement and I am excited to see where goes. When people ask me, "what is the gathering?" I usually get frustrated at my inability to share Hugh's vision with just about anybody. But here's a story that I think explains what it is we are trying to accomplish.

Week 2 of the gathering.

My friend Stephanie showed up 5 minutes late, and found herself locked out of the building. As she is about to bang on the door, she sees Ronnie coming down the sidewalk. They greet each other, and when the question of, "how's it going?" comes up, Ronnie explains that he is extremely frustrated. Ronnie spens the next 45 minutes talking out of control about losing jobs and people not supporting him and his large distaste for how he was treated at church earlier that morning. Stephanie, was at loss for how to respond to all of this, but is somewhat successful at calming Ronnie down at least somewhat before they decide to join the rest of the group.

At this point, Stephanie and Ronnie had missed almost all of the discussion, but there was a moment at the end where it was asked if there were any concerns we should know about that we could be praying for. Ronnie immediately jumped in with his story from church that morning, having to do with the loss of his job and his need for money and work. Before Ronnie could get anywhere in his story, another homeless guy named Everit jumped in and said something along the lines of, "Man Ronnie, at some point you just have to look at your situation and say, 'is it everybody around me, or is it something that I'm doing?' Listen, you've lost 4 jobs in the last 2 months. I used to go through the same cycle all the time, and I finally thought to myself, 'is it the world that's messin up my life, or is it something that I'm doing that's causing this?' Nothings going to change unless you start taking some responsibility for yourself"

A few of the other guys off the street chimed in and talked about the situation for a little bit. Stephanie realized that she was in no position to give Ronnie the advice that Everit had given him, but it was exactly what Ronnie needed. I think this story embodies the whole purpose of our little group. I'm looking forward to hearing more discussions like this in the future and to building a strong community in downtown Raleigh.