Sunday, July 27, 2008

Remembering Alaska

Once again, is there a better blog entry than one taken straight from the journal? Probably not. So here it is. Written on the airplane as it took me home from my month long journey through Alaska (Pictures here).

July 15th, 2008

Done. Another chapter of my life gone like the wind. It breaks my heart to leave. And yet there is nothing here that I miss outside of the very lifestyle I got to live for such a short period of time. Drifting in and out of cities, out of homes, riding by the seat of my pants and meeting loving, caring people all along the way.


“When you want something in life, you just gotta reach out and grab it.”

-Chris McCandless



I wish I knew what made me tick. Adventure, people, service, love…I don’t know. I was thinking that I came up here looking for something, and for a short while I thought I had found it. Something within uncertainty and community, between struggle and passion, that’s where life is. I see it in my friends Jessie and Mitch up in Homer. They live paycheck to paycheck, with hardly any possessions, struggling to find money and work, and even housing, but they have security within their friends old and young. It’s amazing to see. I want that!

In the introduction of “What Is The What” the Lost Boy author says:

“This book is a form of struggle, and it keeps my spirit alive to struggle. To struggle is to strengthen my faith, my hope and my belief in humanity. Since you and I exist, together we can make a difference!”

-Valentino Achak Deng

Life has been too easy for me. My struggle has been to keep up with the Jones’s, and to continually fall above or below the mark as I measure my personal success. I’m done with it! I don’t want to pay for things with money, but with friendship. I want to rely on the generosity and good will of my friends; that is the true test of your good will. And above all that, I want to be a giver. To spend my money on others and limit my possessions to only what is given to me from others.

I need to go back and learn to entertain with food and song and not with television. As I look back, I stayed with five CouchSurfing hosts in Alaska, four of them had no TV and the one who did have a TV had no cable. That’s how it’s done. There’s too much to live for to just sit back and watch from your couch.

So I read Leah’s blog today and she is now free from all of her possessions. She got to do this in dramatic fashion, with everything laid out on her front lawn. I suppose I will never really get to have this experience since my lawn sale wouldn’t amount to much. I moved to Carolina in a Ford Focus packed tight, whereas Leah moved down in an oversized Uhaul packed to the ceiling. But what a great day for her! Everything is behind her now, and once she sells her car she’ll be completely free. Free to move, free to travel, free to love. She finished her blog with a quote from Chris McCandless. How fitting. Cool girl, right?

When I get home tomorrow we’ll go out and celebrate Bill’s last day in the American workforce, as he has quit his job to work for Lemonade International full time. What a celebration it will be. I am jealous of Bill and of Leah, and my prayer today is not for them, but for me. That passion and opportunity will cross paths in my life as well.


And as for my lasting image of Alaska, go to the top of Flattop mountain on the outskirts of Anchorage and take your pick: the view of the city from up high, the setting sun at 11:30pm in the north, the view of Denali (Mt. McKinley), or seeing all three of these images blending together right next to each other. But my choice sits on a small rock at the top of the mountain peak; love rock...LOVE! Once man's graffiti is another man's lasting image of this great wonderful state. How perfect.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

For all my female fans

About a year ago I was traveling across the country on a veggie oil powered school bus. I kept a journal and I read one of my entries today. After visiting an old college friend in Texas, I was inspired to explore the world of dating and marriage. What follows is a small portion of what was deemed publishable. I hope you enjoy it.


Taken from a June 21, 2007 journal entry:


In my 28 years here on earth, I think I’ve finally come up with the idea of the perfect girl for me, but there does not seem to be an abundance of these girls. My criteria is simple, yet picky.

First, the girl must NOT be the owner of a dog. Anyone who is in their 20’s needs to be out enjoying their life, giving back to their community, not their pet. If a girl has succumb to owning a demanding pet at such a young age, it is a sure sign that she has sold out to her need for security and will never dare to dream deep.

Second, the girl must me adventurous. I don’t want to marry a lush, but I would much rather enjoy the ups and downs than the boredom of always making the conservative decision. Adventurous means taking risks, not always being responsible, and not being afraid to be bold. Small signs of adventure are drinking, smoking, cursing, and staying up late at night. Large signs of adventure are traveling to foreign countries, changing careers or quitting a job. You’re probably saying, “These all sound like negatives, not positives for someone you should date.” I couldn’t agree any less. Maybe it should be noted that I could never marry a non Christian, so the sample of girls we are looking at has just shrunk down to the ones you’d find at church on a Sunday morning. The kind of girl who goes on mission trips and wants to change the world; a Christian girl who is less concerned about rules and more concerned with making things happen.

Third, the girl must be logical. I don’t need to be with someone who thinks like me, but I do want to be with someone who can talk with me on the deepest of levels. There’s nothing worse that trying to explain your political philosophy to a girl who has no understanding of politics. I don’t need to find a conservative girl, but I need to find someone who at least understands what a conservative is. Of my 3 criteria here, this has been the most difficult one to work around. I am continually amazed by how many Christian girls are fixated on family and culinary skills, and how few I’ve met who have more than a juvenile understanding of philosophy, economics and politics.

So I’m left to ask, do I still go out and seek this type of girl, or do a change my criteria and start looking for a homemaker? Maybe I just don’t understand love as I should. I remember reading the single Donald Miller’s idealistic image of what his love for his future spouse should look like, and all I can think is, “isn’t their more out there?” I’ve been accused of wanting a travel companion, more than a spouse, but seriously, isn’t there more out there? Can’t two people live for serving the Lord together more than they do to serve each other? There have been two girls in my life who I have considered marrying. In both circumstances, my life was completely wrapped up in those relationships. I’ve finally come to a point in my life where I live for the world outside me, and I don’t ever want to give that up. I want to find someone to share that with me. So am I crazy?

Probably.

Look out world, here I come

Allow myself to introduce ....myself. It's been a few years of holding out, but now I am ready to join the bloggers. Look out world, it's time to welcome another cynic to the Internets. I promise not to hold back too much.
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