For all my female fans

About a year ago I was traveling across the country on a veggie oil powered school bus. I kept a journal and I read one of my entries today. After visiting an old college friend in Texas, I was inspired to explore the world of dating and marriage. What follows is a small portion of what was deemed publishable. I hope you enjoy it.


Taken from a June 21, 2007 journal entry:


In my 28 years here on earth, I think I’ve finally come up with the idea of the perfect girl for me, but there does not seem to be an abundance of these girls. My criteria is simple, yet picky.

First, the girl must NOT be the owner of a dog. Anyone who is in their 20’s needs to be out enjoying their life, giving back to their community, not their pet. If a girl has succumb to owning a demanding pet at such a young age, it is a sure sign that she has sold out to her need for security and will never dare to dream deep.

Second, the girl must me adventurous. I don’t want to marry a lush, but I would much rather enjoy the ups and downs than the boredom of always making the conservative decision. Adventurous means taking risks, not always being responsible, and not being afraid to be bold. Small signs of adventure are drinking, smoking, cursing, and staying up late at night. Large signs of adventure are traveling to foreign countries, changing careers or quitting a job. You’re probably saying, “These all sound like negatives, not positives for someone you should date.” I couldn’t agree any less. Maybe it should be noted that I could never marry a non Christian, so the sample of girls we are looking at has just shrunk down to the ones you’d find at church on a Sunday morning. The kind of girl who goes on mission trips and wants to change the world; a Christian girl who is less concerned about rules and more concerned with making things happen.

Third, the girl must be logical. I don’t need to be with someone who thinks like me, but I do want to be with someone who can talk with me on the deepest of levels. There’s nothing worse that trying to explain your political philosophy to a girl who has no understanding of politics. I don’t need to find a conservative girl, but I need to find someone who at least understands what a conservative is. Of my 3 criteria here, this has been the most difficult one to work around. I am continually amazed by how many Christian girls are fixated on family and culinary skills, and how few I’ve met who have more than a juvenile understanding of philosophy, economics and politics.

So I’m left to ask, do I still go out and seek this type of girl, or do a change my criteria and start looking for a homemaker? Maybe I just don’t understand love as I should. I remember reading the single Donald Miller’s idealistic image of what his love for his future spouse should look like, and all I can think is, “isn’t their more out there?” I’ve been accused of wanting a travel companion, more than a spouse, but seriously, isn’t there more out there? Can’t two people live for serving the Lord together more than they do to serve each other? There have been two girls in my life who I have considered marrying. In both circumstances, my life was completely wrapped up in those relationships. I’ve finally come to a point in my life where I live for the world outside me, and I don’t ever want to give that up. I want to find someone to share that with me. So am I crazy?

Probably.